On Magical Thinking & How To Avoid It
Do you believe in magic? I do. I also believe in the sacred, the holy, the spiritual and God even!
However, I also believe in reality, in physics and the laws of nature that (practically) govern the world around us, as well as our selves within it. One perhaps invites the other and, if we’re lucky, then the two are difficult to distinguish from one another at times.
And so, it seems to me, that too much rational (or organisational) thinking can prevent the sacred from revealing itself. Equally, ‘magical thinking’ (the idea that everything will spontaneously and miraculously fall into place, all by itself) can severely prohibit us from learning, loving and developing as individuals and as a society.
This piece is about the culture of ‘habit’ of Magical Thinking (MT), specifically it’s consequences, as well as some potential cures for this disease that often runs rampant amongst even the most disciplined of practitioners at times.
Let’s begin with an example taken from a real life conversation I’ve found myself in many times. This conversation is between a lover of Ecstatic Dance (EDL)(typically someone who likes to dance ‘freely’, in their words, not mine) and myself, trying my best to restore some balance in the world of MT:
EDL: Hi Daniel, I meant to tell you, I’ve heard all about your Tao of Movement classes and have been thinking of joining for a while now.
ME: Oh yeah? Interesting… I’m curious what’s been stopping you from coming, so far at least?
EDL: Well, to be honest, I wander if it’s a bit too authoritarian for me. You see, I don’t really like people telling me how I should or shouldn’t move. I want to just move completely freely, without any rules…
ME (smiling): Okay, so by that do you mean that you like Ecstatic Dance because there aren’t any rules?
EDL: Yes, exactly (feeling strangely understood). It’s so nice to feel completely free to be me…
ME: May I suggest that Ecstatic Dance, actually, has a number of pretty strict rules however…?
EDL: What do you mean? (looking a bit confused)
ME: …no talking on the dancefloor, for example, as well as no shoes, no alcohol or drugs. It also has a clearly defined DJ and specific ceremony leader for the evening, as well as the ritual of beginning and ending together, silently, in a circle. The whole thing, in fact, is a consciously-designed prison of sorts.
EDL: Hmm, maybe you’re right (gazing introspectively)
ME: Possibly… and so maybe that’s actually why you like Ecstatic Dance - because of it’s clearly defined structure?
EDL: (silence… more introspection)
ME: I like it too by the way! I think it’s a pretty awesome structure, even though there are a few things that could be even better perhaps.
You see, magical thinking is easily achieved. When something feels good we have a tendency to not want to tarnish it or too much ‘understand’ it even. Our souls somehow enjoy the mystery of the experience - that it has captured us, and is playing our hearts and emotions like puppets on a string.
Introspection or ‘self-analysis’ is scary because is shows us the more objective reality of things: the hows and whys of our experiences and, in turn, how to make them even better moving forwards. And so it’s more comfortable to try to replicate the same supposed magic over and over again, instead of proactively defining and redefining our experiences.
The EDL in our example, as you can see, is rather aware of what’s good for him/her and is choosing for an effective (and rather measurable) structure. What they’re missing however is the ‘rational understanding’ part - the learned awareness that (almost?) everything in this world can be largely boiled down to it’s separate parts.
Not only that, but by identifying those parts we allow ourselves to construct better practices, rules, guidelines and structures through which to live our lives.
My experience has shown me that everyone requires (and enjoys!) clear structures and boundaries to abide by, and it’s just that certain structures are more or less comfortable and/or interesting for certain kinds of people.
Put simply, magical thinking, in reality, is not so magical at all; just as rational thinking can be rather magical indeed!
The sweet, grounded experience of successfully completing one’s ‘to-do list’ is rarely known by some, just as the poetic feeling of dancing, swimming or singing from the heart is hard to obtain for others. Both types of experience, however, needn’t fall into the trappings of magical thinking, and can instead be fostered deliberately over time…
Without falling into the simplistic analogy of ‘balance being best’ (though it may be largely true), let’s look at what that sweet spot between the magical and the rational really entails:
First of all, it’s important to notice that the Goldilocks Zone (perfect balance) between, say, rest and recovery, or organisation and creativity, relies implicitly on both the awareness and experience of their extremes. As silly as it sounds, certain age-old wisdoms such as ‘never trust a skinny chef’ have a remarkable truth to them - a truth that’s a little uncomfortable at times. After all… if one is too comfortable (or the perfect weight, in the case of the chef) then something is likely missing.
The first sign of overly magical thinking, for example, is one’s inability to contradict themselves and/or to demonstrate paradoxical attitudes or behaviours within their daily lives.
As a wise man once said: if you’re always a butterfly then you’re never a butterfly!
(Referring to the many arduous stages of life required for the butterfly to eventually form)
Hence, the most successful dancers are the one’s with a (grounded) head on their (rather dexterous) spine and shoulders; or at least the ones with good managers, agents and accountants to do the boring work for them.
I personally don’t like to rely on web designers, accountants, marketing assistants etc for my creative and entepreneurial projects, simply because I’d rather develop all of those skills myself and all the fruits that that affords me over time. It no doubt makes me less successful, famous and/or effective as an artist and/or business enterprise (at least short term), but it’s a worthwhile price to pay I believe for a greater sense of growth, learning and self-responsibility.
It takes time to become both the butterfly and the cocoon…
Attention is the secret recipe for everything we want to experience, create, become. And what does attention mean? To be ‘at tension’: eg. to be energetically engaged with the polarity of things; burdened yet motivated by the expenses required to live out your creative dream; frustrated yet inspired by your potential income and all the tax forms required to legally receive it; bored yet disciplined in the ways you plan, prepare, gain feedback on and improve the services you offer etc etc.
Anything magical or profound contains measurable parts. Discovering them is required if one wishes to fill their life with meaning and magic.
I’m always humbled by both the thoroughly disappointing experiences that were supposed to be so festive and fun-filled, and equally the humble day-to-day tasks that inherently manifest all the beauty one could ever need (and more!). Beauty that arises secretly and permeates the fabric of all momentary things.
It takes time (a thousand disappointments, in my case, and more) to surrender to the inevitable daily chores that culminate in maybe the only true wholesomeness possible for humankind. I, myself, continue to forget, learn and relearn the same valuable lessons over and over again, and each time I feel utterly blessed for the reminder.
In turn, what once were pipe-dreams have become ordinary habits and daily routines (with marvellous moments and wild discoveries in between). Before I realise it, workshops, magazines, blogs, dances, running races, delicious conversations and hilarious memories become inseparable from simply doing the dishes.
So here’s to gratitude for the simple things, and the secretly sacred - so hard to capture yet worth the journey, every step of the way…
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