On The Importance Of Doing

I don’t know what to do, how best to think, or what the best answers to the deepest questions are most of the time. Some mornings I’m even completely at a loss for meaning, purpose and any sense of clarity whatsoever.

All work, relationships, money, interests are essentially futile. One day it’ll all be gone anyway… as will we.

Yet as I prepare to dust my Mother’s house, simply because ‘I can’ and it’s somewhat helpful to do so, I’m struck (again) by the irrelevance of most difficult questions that we somehow churn over time and time again.

After all, as a great (wo)man once said: “sometimes a bad plan is better than no plan at all”. And boy do we need a plan!? Even if it’s an imperfect one.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve spent time with 5 or 6 different people only; I haven’t attended a single class, workshop or day of work, or joined any running event, social dinner, dance or festival etc either.

My ability to find joy and meaning in the simple things (in the ‘doing’ of those things) has been brought to light. I know on some level that it’s not my preffered lifestyle of choice and yet I know that, fundamentally, it’s the same as every other.

If I cannot find purpose and contentment in these days then the more splendid things in life will remain a disguise, a distraction, a desperate necessity; like glitter over a clear window, icing on a cake or a fake, exaggerated smile.

I don’t want to taste the icing without first making the cake…

I want to be content to read my book, to walk, talk, send some emails, run a bit, then cook a meal for my Dad. I want that ‘doing’ to be enough in and of itself. And it is. Already I can feel the art of it; the infinite game that is any single day within an ordinary human’s life.

Perhaps I’m a bit obsessed, lonely or even depressed at times, but mostly it doesn’t feel that way. Most of the time I experience a remarkable beauty in everything I see, feel and do.

As long as I keep taking steps forward, without looking back - acting out my life’s inevitable experiments - then a rich, abundant life is ensured.

“Getting to the end of life in one piece” an ex-partner and I used to joke, “was the ultimate goal after all”.

…I still mostly agree with that statement.

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