The Best Thing About You
Whether it’s IFS, NVC, CBT, EFT or any other therapeutic set of initials, they all agree on one thing at least: we all have different parts!
Since school, equally, I’ve been asked to explore if I was introvert or extravert, yin or yang, fire or earth, a leader or a follower, an actor or reactor etc.
The journey’s taken me somewhere (every journey takes you somewhere), but I can’t help feeling that there’s something at the core of such dualities. More simple, clear, unarguable. Like a loaf of bread.
So here it is... my hypothesis. Of what you are, not what you think you are. Of the best thing about you. Of the only ‘real’ thing about you.
The best thing about you is: that you are NOTHING.
That’s right. Nothing.
No thing.
Nada!
Emptiness fills the largest cup, as the zen proverb goes. And it’s true! Anything truly honest, truly authentic, truly meaningful arrives from that nothing place.
The place we all dread so much. That we’re afraid to return to, time and time again, despite knowing what a treasure chest it really is.
That place is your essence. Everything inside is ‘essential’. Everything outside is that little bit more superficial. It can’t be any other way…
I’m not saying your habits, cravings, norms etc are wrong. Not at all. Realistically we all need them. I love my one coffee a day for instance. As well as my playful instagram time every afternoon, and casual reading of random self-help books before going to sleep.
It’s what gets us through the day.
But over time it’s the essential things that win through (or should do at least).
Silence. Music. Exercise. Proper food. Friendships. Physical touch. Laughter. Intimacy. Creativity.
It is your ‘absences’ that return you to such things. Your empty space. Blank pages in the diary. White boxes on the calendar. Where else is it supposed to come from?
Certainly not from doing a dozen things at the same time all day every day, that’s for sure…
If you’re fed up of people telling you to meditate, then I understand. Don’t force yourself into anything.
If you’re tired of being accused of having too much stuff… ignore them. Keep your 35 pairs of shoes. I don’t care.
But how about giving yourself an hour or so before texting your friends back? Or taking a walk before turning on the iphone in the morning? It’s the little things that count, after all.
Your nothingness is always with you.
You needn’t hunt for it.
Just get out of your own way, once in a while… and see what great creation might unfold…
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