The TAO speaks consistently on the relationship of all things. This interrelatonship exists between all elements; plants, animals, birds, rocks, stars, spirits, humans.

There are many kinds of relationship of course, and they sustain themselves sincerely throughout time, despite the conditions, titles, ideas and descriptions we often give to such bonds.

However, always it is ‘friendship’ which, above all else, remains (or should we say ‘beneath’ all else); for friendship is the humble ground upon which all else rests.

When lust dissolves, attraction fades and love (that most holiest of words) gets questioned, then it is friendship alone that remains; and friendship alone that both deepens and strengthens one’s journey with another.

Being a genuinely good friend to oneself and to others takes one far in this life!

Not only can it sweeten the daily experience of ordinary things (meals with friends, shared practices, creative pursuits etc), but it can reliably sustain those endeavours, perhaps more than anything else.

Friendship truly is the ‘ship’ that never sinks…

So how to be a better ‘friend’? That is a question for the Tao indeed, and there is no easy answer.

Being a friend to oneself is something, most certainly. And yet there are moments when, quite simply, it is NOT about YOU. Friendship, in such moments, resembles sacrifice also then; it encompasses the awareness and purposeful choice of putting the ‘whole’ before oneself.

To be invisible in this way is a beautiful thing, and a necessary skill to develop and sustain true friendship; and taking centre stage, of course, is also precious (when the time is right).

One might call this ‘listening’ and ‘speaking’. Or ‘acting’ and ‘reacting’.

If no one hears you did you speak? If one cannot receive from another then how might one ever hope to ‘give’?

This interaction, and this exchange, is the hallmark of Taoism and of human ‘being’. And like the river, that always remains the same because it always changes, our relationships ebb and flow with time.

Friendship can contain it all. Friendship WILL contain it all.

All we have to do is to learn how NOT to try…

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