The Tao Of Facilitation: PART 1
PART 1 - Polishing Your Sword / Sharpening Your Blade
Know what you are choosing: we, as facilitators, are attempting to create a better version of ‘reality’ for the betterment of ourselves and others.
You must hold the fort, not let it crumble. You are playing a version of yourself. You are an actor in a certain role. This is what people have come for - to witness, follow, be inspired and ‘touched’ by this part of you.
Don’t expect to feel, interact and exist as you would alone in a room or with only your closest family and friends. This is War, and only by polishing your sword, practicing your moves, sharpening your blade and centring your being can you hope to turn your enemies into friends (and keep your comrades from changing sides).
These people, your students, have paid to be here. They’ve invested their time, attention and efforts in what you have to offer. Hopefully, for the sake of all involved, it has been a clear and substantial commitment also. We do not want students with only one leg (or hand) in the room, just as we ourselves will do better when real consequences are at stake.
Will you allow your students the gift of their own investment? And will you honour their ‘risk’ with your own diligent preparation (and reflection) before, during and after each class?
It’s been said that if you can’t write it then you can’t do it. 3 written versions of each workshop or class (carried out in the weeks or days beforehand) is optimal. 1 version at least, I dare say, is compulsory. Failing this, the equivalent time to think, imagine and (re)create is absolutely essential. Ideally, both written and thoughtful processes should happen.
Practically, what might this look like? For every 2-hour class, 4 hours of manifestation, self-centring and reflection time should be allowed for. This will make you Anti-fragile as a facilitator; meaning you have plans B, C and D in case the unexpected arises (which it almost always does), plus plenty of emotional reserves for especially challenging students and/or situations.
This reserve is the facilitator’s ‘muscle’ - it can be trained but it also needs to recover and fill itself up again each time.
Worst case scenario, if you know you won’t be at your best, and there’s no turning back, then you’ve two options:
1) simplify and do the basics well, explaining the (valid) importance of practicing the fundamentals. If they are really the fundamentals then there’s infinite learning to be gained from their conscious repetition anyhow.
2) be honest and apologise for your lack of preparation, inspiration and/or clarity. You may lose some respect but at least you might be appreciated, empathised with or ‘liked’ for it.
As facilitators, earning our students’ Respect will take us furthest (long term) and should be our number 1 priority. Skillful-ness is secondary to Respect, and being Liked / Enjoyed as a person is third.
One can learn a hell of a lot from someone they don’t especially bond with personally, and sometimes even more so because of it. The desire or need to be liked is perhaps the greatest enemy of the facilitator - one should work hard to recognise and overcome this tendency as quickly as possible. Your students, after all, are not here for you, but for your content and what you represent. A facilitator’s efforts to be liked are the surest sign that their content, self-practice and personal experience is lacking.
If the word Respect doesn’t sit well with you, try the word Integrity. Integrity transfers well (in the English language at least) into various domains of being - we can have Intellectual Integrity, Physical Integrity and Emotional Integrity for example. This allows us to further dissect and examine just how much Integrity we have cultivated for ourselves and kept in the presence of a class filled with students. Perhaps our physical skillset is strong and reliable, for example, but we struggle to verbalise concepts or ideas when asked for more clarification from students. Equally, we might deliver rousing, well-versed speeches but crumble at the first signs of complaint or boredom from a struggling student.
Our Skills, Experiences and (Self)Respect (or Integrity) should be cultivated and developed continuously within all of these areas over many, many years if we hope to survive and thrive as facilitators over the course of a life time.
I’ve seen dozens try and fail at holding space, passing on knowledge or leading groups is various forms, and their failings always come down to how much they themselves have practiced, learned and reflected upon their life’s work so far.
How is one to lead others when one can barely lead oneself?
In this sense, Facilitation, as a practice and an art form, is quite simple. We will project our best and worst qualities onto our students whether we intend to or not. We just need to systematically improve each area of our bodies and our minds, and our students will, in turn, reap the rewards.
To know oneself deeply and truly, and therefore to genuinely understand and guide our students, however is no easy task…
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