Did You Dance?
What is that age-old question:
When lying down on your death bed, how will you reflect back upon your life?
Well, whether such a question actually gets asked is perhaps besides the point, for this is a blog about dancing, about celebration and about making sure we just f***ing do stuff while we’re here.
I know what you’re thinking, and I’m also a bit fed up of people telling me to ‘have no regrets’, ‘live life to the fullest’, and ‘not look back’ etc. Memories are precious, our experiences are most important, blah blah blah…
But in all seriousness, how often do you feel truly free? Fully alive? Without hesitation, fear, anxiety, confusion etc. Is it even rational or realistic to expect such a thing from life? We’re human after all, and being awkward, self-conscious and overly rational is also just what we do, right?!
A typical ‘self-help’ group, sat arranged in a circle. Mindfulness and ‘personal development’ is all the rage these days; but is there something more simple, natural or even ‘wild’ that hits deeper to the core of what humanity is actually all about?
Ethics
I have a suspicion that it might be something to do with our ethical / moral standards. After all, it is easy to forget that Nature (or the ‘Tao’) has no morals, no rules, no guidebook, actually.
If we are raised to be liberal, conservative, Christian, Jewish, etc, then we might have little awareness of the extent to which we are denying ourselves something. Whether it’s the freedom to make love, to litter, to eat meat, to leave your hometown, to work, to commit suicide, to not give to charity etc, there are no doubt RIGHTS and WRONGS in all of us that prevent ourselves from selecting from the whole spectrum of such choices.
Some of the most revealing and important periods of my life were not necessarily the most ethical or ‘charitable’ ones. In fact, I’ve been extremely selfish at times throughout my life, and at other times probably not selfish enough.
TRY THIS:
1) Write down all of your ‘beliefs’ or ‘ethics’ (eg. the things you believe in, or at least THINK that you believe in)
2) Write examples of times that you contradicted yourself (eg. did NOT act according to these beliefs)
3) What was your experience of these? Were you feeling shameful or guilty? Or was it actually rather fun or freeing?
4) Are you willing to alter any of your previously chosen ethics? Or even get rid of some of them altogether? If so, then cross them out with a big black marker!
Painting of Lao Tzu and Confucius (by unknown artist). These were the founders of Chinese philosophy as we recognise it today, and Taoism especially has remained the Religion (or non-religion) of all religions. It’s power essentially relies in it’s contradictions and willingness to not take itself too seriously. The ‘way’ (Tao) is essentially the way of all ways and no ways, simultaneously.
Freedom
How do you feel about your own freedom? Is it scary? Do you even dare to imagine yourself without the rules and guidelines you’ve so strongly lived by until now?
It could be that we are more afraid of our powers than we are of our weaknesses / limitations. In fact, I’m quite certain that that’s the case!
The things that make us feel most alive, and that we learn the most from, are after all those things that show us new, so-far undiscovered, powers inside of ourselves.
Letting go can be difficult though. Perhaps our partner or family members have the same belief system? Maybe you have no other friends that are taking similar steps to yourself?
What to do about that?
The simple answer: trust yourself (and get new friends!).
Easier said than done, I know. But our relationships show more about us than anything. And if you wish to grow and evolve, then so should the tribe of people around you. Don’t be afraid to adjust your social life and communication in accordance with your changing ideas, ethics and norms.
Your greatest self demands it from you, after all!
The Camino de Santiago is a personal journey for all that venture onto the traditional walking route. Such pilgrimages are one of the best ways to ‘find oneself’, and encompass all of the qualities of a truly selfish (and ego-destroying) mission, I believe. Impermanence is embraced all the way along; whether it’s your changing companions each day, to a new hostel and town to stay in every night. Furthermore, it’s normal to choose a ‘burden’ to carry with you (eg. no drinking, no smoking, no sex etc). In this way, we can learn to not take our beliefs, embodied habits or ideas too seriously…
The Final Dance
So back to our original question… what does it mean to dance?
It is perhaps nothing so original or impressive, I suspect. Instead (as a dear Indian friend once explained it to me), we are born bright orange suns! Over time we gather small grey clouds however, and our journey is allowing these clouds to evaporate and disappear once more, to re-find ourselves pure and perfect just as we are.
Your brightest orange self probably doesn’t even think so much about charity, or drugs, or getting rich, or helping others, or being successful or anything else. It just wants whatever it wants, each moment, without thinking all too much about itself.
This is the final dance. Enlightenment some might even say.
You have a beer but without the usual shame or guilt around the idea of alcohol. You make love without the overwhelming attachment. You eat without researching the harm you did to the planet (apparently) afterwards.
It is what it is. And that’s dancing. That’s true dancing, dear readers…
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