On Death And Disease
It’s not easy being alive. That’s what we’re sometimes told…
Art house movies, comic books, Haruki Murakami novels, long working shifts in restaurants (and countless other things in life) do a good job of reminding us about the daily ‘grind’.
Suffering is sort of a part of life. If we don’t talk about it, at least most people would agree that as a philosophy it’s pretty damn accurate. Regrets, break ups, failed job interviews, you name it… we’ve all suffered.
My journey as a writer, a teacher, a runner, and now as a performer, has been more than anything a discovery into the nature of death and all that comes with it.
“You can’t beat death, but you can beat death in life”, Charles Bukowski wonderfully said. My mission is to do exactly that - it’s just taken me a while to realise it.
The writer Charles Bukowski - trusting the muse to once again lift him up and out of the American Great Depression. It seems that a creative pursuit, such as poetry writing, could well be one way to ‘beath Death in Life’…
So how does one deliberately dive into Death within this (relatively) short life of ours? And if one is ‘dying’ (or ‘decaying’) every minute of every day, then how might one embrace such a thing in order to rise above it?
Butoh Dance is perhaps one way, and is something I was fortunate to experience at the place I now live and work, approximately 12 months ago. Nobody has an exact definition of Butoh and some claim that there is no true understanding of such a process… BUT it is generally considered to be the Dance of Death and Disease.
One who practices Butoh enters emotionally into their own lived world of emotions, of stories, of memories, and of all things dead and/or dying. Moving downwards into the ground, in line with the laws of gravity, is one somewhat ‘practical’ example of what such a workshop might teach you.
And yet Butoh is taught as a physical practice by some, as a poetic and imaginative one by others, and even as a philosophical and self-reflective journey also. Any true movement practice, I believe, should incorporate all of such elements and even more. In this way, I experience Butoh (as well as barefoot running) as being as close as possible to embodying the full spectrum of human movement.
After all (as my Butoh teacher, Imre Thorman, reminded us daily), “what’s the point of moving physically only? Isn’t it a waste of time?”
I’m inclined to agree.
Imre Thorman is one of the most trained and esteemed Butoh performers and teachers, in the world. He teaches Noguchi Taiso (‘moving in line with the laws of nature’) alongside his more imaginative and storied Butoh practice. He also offers ‘work for workshops’ at his home in France, so movers can study with him cheaply in exchange for farm-related chores.
At a more philosophical level, Death in Life comes in many forms. The orgasm is a sort of death, as many writers / philosophers enjoy to debate. Physical training in the way it structurally ‘breaks down and recovers’ the body is also a form of dying and being reborn again. Deeply relating to another person is perhaps also death in the sense that one’s Self is sacrificed in service of a more shared experience of reality.
Whether it’s Death of the self, Death of the body, or Death of the soul, we all subconsciously seem to crave the death experience. It makes us feel more alive once we discover ourselves once more in this reality of the living. We all know that we will die, so why not start preparing already?
Maybe that’s what it is, more than anything else. Warming up for the final chapter of life: actual death.
As the great Haruki Murakami once wrote: “Everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come”.
Perhaps my favourite novelist of all time, Murakami deals with the themes of Death and ‘emptiness’ in unusually bizarre, surreal and playful ways. Many of his characters are lonely introverts that enjoy listening to records, walking, reading books and/or travelling alone to remote, far away places.
I have no final answers for these questions. Nobody does.
That is why Death is such a beautiful (and frightening) thing… because it’s such a mystery to us all.
All I can leave you with is this: Try reading a novel from a place you’ve never heard of; practicing butoh; taking a VERY long walk; listening to classical music with your eyes closed; writing a poem…
Anything to tilt your subconscious reality a little on its axis.
Other than that, you’re on your own folks!
So let us live with contentment and Die with peace <3
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